I wanted to film a new video earlier tonight.

At first I was trying to get some ideas and put something together in my head that I could visualize. I usually do and once I have an image in my head of what the video should look like I can go ahead and start setting up to film it.

Over the last however the fuck long I've been doing this, trying to make something new. BUTTTTT the follow through, and actually filming the video, sometimes it happens but most of the time it doesn't.

Instead my brain goes in a million different directions and all of a sudden I'm not in the mood to film anymore, I hate making videos, and after that I wanna do anything but make a new video.

Maybe its ADHD? Maybe its the fact that the world is on fire and everything is fucked up. Maybe its because I've been inside for the last 7 months. Maybe its even the muses above who bless me with creativity and inspiration taking the day or week off telling me that maybe I should do the same thing. I dunno.

What I do know is that its not a big deal, theres no rush, new videos will come eventually, etc. It's just now a days with the amount of content people put out and how it gets shown on social media, it makes it seem like everyone is getting lots and lots of stuff done and operating ever so smooth and gracefully through these very trying times. Me personally, it looks like im getting way more done than I actually am with making videos as I usually work in bursts when the stuff I'm writing about isn't fucking with me like it is now.

I gotta be more gentle with myself and take it easy and not lose my shit over having not filmed something for the 5th day in a row of trying to film something followed by that feeling of falling behind/not getting it done. Whatever bro.

I'm passing out but I love ya!

Take care, stay gorgeous and be gentle with yourself, you've done lots of amazing stuff and you'll do more amazing stuff.

-- Baddison